It may come as a surprise to many of you to know that approx. 1 in 20 men experience depression and or anxiety during their partners pregnancy and 1 in 10 men experience depression and or anxiety after the birth of their child. Pregnancy can be bitter sweet for many – men included!

There is a lot of pressure on men, as there is on women, to live up to societies expectations on what it MEANS and LOOKS like to be the ‘perfect’ partner and parent. Men often find it difficult to talk about their feelings, share their thoughts and talk about their concerns and emotions. By keeping these feelings to themselves they, without realising, place themselves at a greater risk – which usually means they are more reluctant to seek help. There really is a lot of awareness around these days in regards to general mental health as well as perinatal care ALTHOUGH we don’t often see information and awareness when it comes to men and their perinatal health and wellness. For this reason, I found it really important to share this information and remind everyone that depression and anxiety does not discriminate when it comes to age or gender!

Below I have included some of the common concerns and worries that men have when faced with these issues…

GUILT – Men are prone to feeling guilty for having these feelings because they feel as though they should be the STRENGTH for their partner (Considering the emotional and physical strain they have been through during the pregnancy and birth).

CONCERN – For the safety of their partner and or baby’s health. Men commonly express their disconnect with the pregnancy and birth process, even though they may be a great support system they still can find it hard to relate to some of the things their partner is feeling physically and emotionally.

WORRY – Expecting dads, as do expecting mums, worry about the father figure they will be and how they will cope with the demands and schedule of a new baby. They will experience fear of the unknown and wonder if they will cope whilst juggling their life and commitments.

FEELING LEFT OUT – When a new baby arrives some men really struggle with the feeling of ‘disconnect’ from their partner, their relationship and the baby. A mum really has this innate bond and protection that oozes out of her, its that ‘motherly’ instinct we all talk about. Dads do have that as well, even though many feel that they DON’T and find it hard to relate. Many relationship dynamics can change significantly when a baby arrives, for some it is only short-term changes and for others it may be more long term. That’s why I really believe and stress the importance of continued work in your relationship during this time as it is more crucial than ever. Open communication is key here!

PANDA have done a great job providing awareness about this cause especially shedding light on Perinatal depression and anxiety in men. Below I have included some of the signs and symptoms to watch out for.

– Ongoing Irritability, anger or moodiness
– Tiredness
– Withdrawn
– Problems sleeping (unrelated to the baby’s sleeping schedule)
– Emotional Withdrawal from your partner, baby, family and friends
– Worry and Fear for caring for the baby
– Feelings of isolation
– Using alcohol or drugs to escape or cope
– Suicidal thoughts and behaviours
– Physical symptoms of anxiety (heart racing, shortness of breath, sweaty palms etc)
– Constant exhaustion
– Loss of interest in sex
– Changes in appetite (increase or decrease)
– Loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyed

These symptoms of course vary from person to person although it is very important that these symptoms are taken seriously and not brushed off as ‘everything will be ok’. Symptoms can increase and become worse if left untreated.

PANDA has provided some Tips on how to look after Yourself if you are going through these changes.

– Recognise that having a baby brings many unexpected changes for you and your partner: give yourself time to adjust.
– Life might be different, but being a dad is also a wonderful experience. Take some time to get to know your baby.
– Don’t try to ‘take on everything’ or solve every problem: You are part of a team.
– Keep in touch with your mates and helpful family members: good mates are especially important during this time.
– Keep well and fit, look after your health with good food and exercise.
– You don’t need to deal with this alone. If you think you need some help or support, don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask. Your health and wellbeing is important!

I hope this Blog Post has helped shed some much-needed light on this very important issue and that all together WE continue creating awareness and reducing the stigma associated with mental health!

Much Love,

Amanda
The Anxiety Wellness Queen

Do you or anyone you know suffer from Perinatal Depression and anxiety? I would love to hear your story. Contact me HERE

PREGNANCY BIRTH & BABY 1800 882 436
LIFELINE 13 11 14
PANDA 1300 726 306
BEYOND BLUE 1300 224 636
THE ANXIETY WELLNESS QUEEN (that’s me!)